Confessions of a Married Woman Loving A Woman

Posted on 26th March 2009 in Memoir

Married women who love women has been a popular phrase more recently. It seems that everyone now knows someone who has been married to a man or is married to a man and who is actually either bisexual or a lesbian. Some of the women choose to stay in their marriage and have lesbian affairs and some women end their marriages to live their life as a lesbian.

I have to say that I know quite a few woman who used to be married to a man. I also find that most lesbians I know used to at least date men. I do also know a few gold star lesbians, but I find that they are few compared to lesbians who had prior relationships with the opposite sex.

Take me for example, I used to be married to a man as you found out in my last post. I knew I was not keen or even really interested in marrying a man when I got married. Why did I do it then? Well I did it probably for the same reason that many other woman do it. I was fulfilling the expectations that life had of me. Or so I thought. I was following the Jones' and trying to have the husband and two and a half kids with the house and white picket fence. So I created my Jones' life and off I went.

But something was missing. I longed for female companionship. Not just a buddy to hang out with either. I had buddies. I wanted intimacy and an emotional bond that was soft, understanding and with a woman. So I silently longed for woman who I found emotionally and physically attractive.

Then one day, a woman kissed me. The kiss led to other more intimate encounters and before I knew it I was a married woman actively loving another woman. This was the eye opening moment and turning point of the rest of my life. From that moment on I knew that now I could answer that question I previously had....Could I see myself having sex with another woman? The answer now was YES! From that point on, men for me were a thing of the past and the only thing I saw ahead of me was a lesbian life.

For the first time in my life I felt free. I felt almost lighter. I felt happier. I felt a love for life at a level that I had never felt before. I was free to be who I truly was. And so, my life as a lesbian began full steam ahead.

My sexy asian partner, Kassidy (aka Kass) has a similar story. Kass was married for twenty years. Wow! What a long time. Her ex well we all think he is an idiot and of course so does Kass now, but that is another story! Kass will tell you that she was unhappy for the last ten years of her marriage. She stayed married because it was the expected thing. She did not know how to break free.

Originally Kass wanted out of the marriage just because she was unhappy. She had no thoughts of being a lesbian initially. As time passed and she met lesbians here and there in her life, she began to see a whole new world that she had never really considered. Kass became curious about relationships with women. So she started to experiement, thus becoming a married woman who was loving women.

The outcome is obvious for Kass as her and I are together now. We live happily ever after in our home. We have a great relationship. We have amazing sex. We both admit that our past lives with men seems like a lifetime ago.

Time after time you will hear of stories like ours. Whether the lesbian used to date or used to be married, some people find it hard to comprehend the change in lifestyle. Switching teams (as the saying goes) is more and more popular these days though. It is so commonplace that I think that people are not as surprised to hear of the latest married woman that is now a lesbian. The recent change in laws in some countries that allows same sex marriages has helped increase the acceptance of same sex relationships. Likewise, television now has numerous shows where gays and lesbians are portrayed and this too has helped make the concept of same sex relationships more accepted.

There are not as many worries for woman these days that want to fulfill their desire to be a lesbian. No doubt the switch in lifestyle will stir up the gossip amongst your friends and colleagues, but I think it seems to settle quickly these days.

More of the adventure in these posts:

Am I Gay?

Posted on 22nd March 2009 in Memoir

Well, I think that any new, freshly starting Lesbian Blog should talk about the main question we all start out with.  Am I gay?  For me, obviously the answer is yes.  That is why I am here at Lesbian Cafe writing these blogs.  But how does it all really start?  How did it start for you?

I can recall in my younger years just loving women.  I remember the teachers I had crushes on.  I remember the girls in school I wanted to be "friends" with.  I remember the hugs from a friend that felt, well better than just a hug.  But I always wondered, Am I Gay?

This discovery into our sexuality starts differently for all of us.  Sure there may be some things that are similar, but it is an individual journey, with our own thoughts and emotions.  Our own worries.  Our own fears. 

I used to always think that I liked those teachers and liked the hugs from my certain female friend because I was a more emotional person.  I thought I was just wired to work on a more emotional, spiritual and even philosophical level.  So I asked myself this question.....Could I see myself having sex with a woman?  Could I see myself having sex with my certain friend?  What was my answer?  No!  So I concluded that I was not a lesbian, but rather an extra emotional female and moved on with my life.

The answer to THAT question about sex with a woman lead me on a major journey in life.  One that we have to just chalk up to being an experience!  You see, although somewhere inside me I truly knew I was gay, I must have not been ready to let everyone or even myself know about it yet.  So I followed what was EXPECTED of me!  Yes, I dated the opposite sex, not very much though!  I know, I cringe at the thought now too! 

Are you ready for this though?  I got married, and to a man at that!  Before everyone wonders themselves to death, do not worry, I am now divorced.  Divorced twice actually, but that is another blog! 

So the marriage (to the man, we will just call John) lasted for about three years, although I had been with him for more than ten years in total.  And ladies, let me tell you, I knew I was a lesbian once I got married.  Nothing against the ex.

I think that there is a pretty good clue that you are in fact a lesbian when you just do not want your husband to see you naked cause he might want sex.  Maybe the rushing off to bed first and pretending to be asleep before John came to bed was a clue too!  How about hearing John walk down the hall towards the bedroom while I am changing and rushing to get changed so there was no skin to be drooled over.  I think that was a clue! 

I think the true give away that I was a lesbian was when John and I actually had sex.  After feeling bad for depriving John for a month, I would give in.  The only part of sex I liked was the images of the gorgeous women I had in my head.  The beautiful curves, the soft breasts, the soft skin, prefectly smooth buttocks.......Women are beautiful!  Ya, I think that was kind of a sure sign that yes, I am gay!

Story to be continued...And wait till you meet my lesbian friends! 

Send us your comments.  Let us all know how you discovered your answer to the question ... AM I GAY?

More of the adventure in these posts:

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Lesbian Cafe, Lesbian Life

Posted on 22nd March 2009 in Memoir

Hello.  Welcome to Lesbian Cafe.  Today is our very first day up and running so we do not look too pretty yet.  Make sure to bookmark us and come back to see what we have to offer.

We are a Lesbian blog, about Lesbians and Lesbian life, written by Lesbians.

We have a lot to talk about,  so come back soon.  We know you will love what we have to say and we really want to hear from you.

From your fellow women who really love women!

Please note that although I draw from my own life experiences, names will be changed here to protect the innocent and some elements might also be fictionalized for better impact.

More of the adventure in these posts: