I just wanted to say that I’m sorry to hear about what happened with your first marriage.

I for one wouldn’t encourage anyone to pressure themselves to be in a relationship that they honestly could not force themselves to be in.

I think that you are right. That society does pressure many of us to get married and have children because it’s “the right thing to do” especially if there is religion involved. Being religious for the sake of looking and living the life that is “what’s expected” isn’t healthy in the least. Many people cover up and use religion to hide behind. And I’m not talking about those in society and the church even who have not yet reckoned with same gender attraction. It could be those who aren’t truthful about their own personal issues whatever they are… men with their pornographic addictions, women who tend to drift from one relationship to another because of their own neediness and to seek some kind of identity… whatever it is, even the self-righteous people who can’t see that their criticism often times get’s in the way of their relationship with Jesus. I think we’re all guilty of creating some false person to hide behind for various of reasons.

For myself personally, I was in my third heterosexual relationship at the age of 18 when I realized that I couldn’t be with the man that I was with. Instead of embracing the lesbian identity and lifestyle I chose to remain single. I wasn’t going to force myself to be in a relationship that I didn’t want to be in. And although I had strong feelings for women I didn’t want to be in a lesbian relationship either. I’ve never been in a lesbian relationship and I don’t plan on it.

I sometimes look at my life where I am at right now and I don’t regret making the decisions I have made. I heard of an alternative to homosexuality and have embraced that alternative. It’s not something I force upon myself and it’s not something that society and the church has forced upon me. It’s what I chose for myself. I have changed in ways I never thought possible. And I’m not going to debate with you on your blog about the reasons why I’ve made the decisions I have but it’s not what people have forced upon me.

One more thing to add …

Yes, I’d agree that a LOT of people think that just because you’re a lesbian it means that you’re a man-hater. I’d agree that’s not always the case but I would say that a LOT of lesbians have had issues with men and bad experiences like yourself in your first marriage. And I’d also say that different women have had different ways of coping with their negative experiences with men. For me, I was a man-hater, for me, that was the way I had coped with my negative experiences. I had to look at my perceptions of men and how I responded to men and actually change the way I treated them. I am not a man-hater anymore and while I never used to be physically and sexually drawn to men in the past I am now. I used to be more Transgendered but I now identify as a woman, it’s part of the changes I never thought was possible.

Anyways, thanks for following me on twitter. All the best to you.